Ch’esed – Kindness

Therefore, God's chosen ones, holy and loved, put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, accepting one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so also you must forgive. – Colossians 3:12-13 HCSB

A righteous young man was studying diligently at a Bible school. His mentor was very pleased with this student because he seemed to bring a passion for Yah in all he did. With time, however, the mentor noticed that his prize pupil was sometimes late for chapel. Sometimes, he didn’t show up at all!

The mentor decided to investigate so he approached the young man and enquired, “I’m surprised that you have begun arriving late to prayers. What would your parents think?”

The student replied, “I would love to always be on time, but I know a woman who has several children. Each morning as I am about to leave for prayers, I hear the children crying. One needs a bottle, another needs to be sent off to school and the last needs to changed. There is no one else to help this woman, so I must do it myself. At times, I barely make it to prayers. Sometimes, I cannot make it at all, so I go to a later chapel service.”

The mentor was surprised and touched by the young man’s obvious grasp of the need to perform the mitzvah of ch’esed (kindness). He asked, “Who is this woman? Is she widowed or divorced? I would also like to help her out.”

The young man then exclaimed, “Oh no! God forbid! The woman is my wife!”

Ch’esed begins at home. Kindness is one of those traits that obviously must be extended toward every person, but it takes a lot of practice and the best place to practice kindness is at home where it is sometimes the most difficult to do.

We get so comfortable with our loved ones that we will often behave atrociously toward them. We will say and do things to our spouses that we would never dream of doing to a stranger. But this is exactly the opposite of the Lord’s will.

God said that ch’esed must be put on, rather like a cloak. This holy garment is composed of many colors, much like Joseph’s coat. God’s chosen ones must put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience and forgiveness. All these elements form one thing – ch’esed.

There is a progression here: empathy leads to kindness. Empathetic kindness leads to humility which causes us to be gentle. Gentleness is expressed in our patient willingness to forgive the foibles of others.

What we need to note, however, is the fact that kindness is the first outward sign of inward compassion. Without kind acts, all else fails and we can safely assume that the love of God does not exist in our hearts.[1]

[1] 1 John 3:17