The Cult of Infantilism

Foolishness is tangled up in the heart of a youth; the rod of discipline will drive it away from him. - Proverbs 22:15 HCSB

America loves babies. That’s easy to understand – most cultures appreciate their offspring. Unfortunately, America’s love of all things youthful has taken on aspects of a cult and ranged into the irrational. It is not uncommon to hear parents say concerning their children, “I just want them to be kids as long as possible.”

What? Why would anyone want to stunt their children’s growth and maturation? It is narcissistic to wish to keep our children infantile, juvenile and totally dependent on us. It is parental affection run amuck.

The Bible recognizes that children will be children. It is in the nature of a child to be foolish. However, it does not elevate that condition. Instead, the Scriptures view childishness and immaturity as a liability to be removed! Paul was rebuking the Corinthians when he said, “You need milk, not solid food. Now everyone who lives on milk is inexperienced with the message about righteousness, because he is an infant. But solid food is for the mature--for those whose senses have been trained to distinguish between good and evil.”[1] Elsewhere he said, “When I became a man, I put aside childish things.”[2]

It is far easier to modify the behavior of children when they are small. Parents should not allow behavior in small children that they will have to correct in adolescents. That is cruel. If parents don't want their children to stamp their feet and say "no" when they are fifteen, they must not allow them to do so when they are five.

It is never right to disobey or misbehave. Wise parents make no allowances for disobedience when the children are bored or when they’ve been cooped up. Later, there will be times when they are bored with their jobs. Do we want them to mess around or get snappish with their boss? Worse - do we want them to mess around when their marriages get boring? They need to learn to be obedient and show character even when it is not fascinating or entertaining.

Our job is to get them as strong, skilled and mature as soon as possible. Who knows when we will die? Besides, the younger that we get them strong, skilled and mature the longer they have to practice maintaining maturity while remaining cooperative with us. If we wait until they are in their late teens, they will associate skills and chronological maturity with separation from us. It will take years for them to overcome this prejudice.

We must not think our children will love us for allowing ill behavior. If we keep them immature and fail to teach them character, we are suppressing their true capabilities and making it nearly impossible for them to succeed in life. If we do, someday they will come to realize what has been done to them and they will hate us for it.


[1] Hebrews 5:12-14
[2] 1 Corinthians 13:11