Vomiting Honey

If you find honey, eat only what you need; otherwise, you'll get sick from it and vomit. Seldom set foot in your neighbor's house; otherwise, he'll get sick of you and hate you. - Proverbs 25:16-17 HCSB

Just about everyone loves honey, but it’s so sweet that a little bit goes a long way! Of course, being a proverb, this verse isn’t just about honey! It is about a fundamental principle of life that applies to just about any activity. It’s called “moderation.” A joke well told can make the day pass quickly or a difficult job less onerous. Someone who does nothing but joke and play pranks…now that’s a different story. Reading books is good but if that’s all you do and you never actually engage in life then you’ve missed the point. You’re reading about life rather than participating in life.

The Teacher chose to apply this principle to visiting friends. We must not visit our friends too much lest they get sick of us and hate us. To display of affection and concern by visiting our friends occasionally is simply good manners. Sometimes, very close friends may even visit each other regularly to play cards or share a meal. However, we have to be very careful to not overdo it and become a plague on our poor neighbors.

There is an old Latin saying that goes “Post tres saepe dies piscis vilescit et hospes.” “After the third day fish and company become distasteful.” We should not visit our friends too often, stay too long, arrange to arrive at meal times or overly busy ourselves with their affairs. Otherwise, we begin to look like a “nudnik”[1], which in Yiddish means someone who persistently annoys or pesters other people. Worse! We might gain the reputation of a “shnorrer”, which is a moocher. He who sponges off his friends will soon be friendless.

Instead, if we like being around people, we should practice “hakhnasat orch’im.” It literally means “welcoming guests” and is the discipline and virtue of hospitality. The Ransomed should make people feel welcome. They should introduce themselves to visitors and invite them to dinner. They should welcome other visiting believers, particularly those in ministry and help them on their way.

Taking in guests is not merely another version of charity in the sense that it is not intended simply as a means to provide food or lodging for someone who otherwise would be sleeping on a park bench. It is meant as an expression of sharing one’s self with another – a way to transform someone as (Martin Buber put it) from “it” to “thou”.

Abraham was a great host. He invited three wanderers to relax while he provided for them.[2] During that particular visit he got some really great news. He was going to be a dad![3] Rebecca was a wonderful hostess and got a husband as a result.[4] This just goes to show you what a great mitzvah hospitality is. So limit your visits! Don’t be a shnorrer!

[1] Pronounced NOOD-nik
[2] Genesis 18:1-5
[3] Genesis 18:10
[4] Genesis 24:28-32