Friday, May 23, 2008

Godly Grandparenting

Abraham is to become a great and powerful nation, and all the nations of the earth will be blessed through him. For I have chosen him so that he will command his children and his house after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just. This is how the LORD will fulfill to Abraham what He promised him." - Genesis 18:18-19 HCSB

Abraham was specifically chosen out of all the people of the Earth because Adonai knew Abraham would command his children after him to keep the Way.
An investigation into an 18th century man named Max Jukes who was a petty thief revealed that he had 310 descendents who died as paupers, 150 who were criminals, 100 were drunkards, 7 were murderers, and more than half of the women were prostitutes.
An investigation into another man of that era, the famed 18th century revival preacher Jonathan Edwards (1703-58) showed that, of his 1,394 known descendants, 100 became preachers and missionaries, 100 lawyers, 80 public officials, 75 army and navy officers, 65 college professors, 60 physicians, 60 prominent authors, 30 judges, 13 college presidents, 3 United States senators, and one a vice-president of the United States.

Godly grandparents make a difference. But how does one go about being a good, godly grandparent? Here are some tips to keep in mind.
1. Listen to your grandchildren.
2. Talk with them.
a. Don’t
i. Ramble or repeat yourself.
ii. Complain about your health or gossip about people.
iii. Monopolize the conversation or focus too much on yourself.
b. Do
i. Try to talk about things that interest them.
ii. Teach them about God and spiritual things. Explain your hope that you will get to continue “hanging out” with them in heaven and tell them how that can happen.
iii. Share your life, both the good and the bad (within limits) and teach them how to choose more wisely than you did.
iv. Be emotionally honest with them.
1. Tell them that you love them.
2. Give them straight answers to sensitive questions.
v. Get down on their level whenever you can or at least look them in the eye.
3. Be as enthusiastic about their interests as you want them to be about yours.
4. Do not disrespect their parents. You raised their parents – it will end up causing them to disregard what you say.
a. Coordinate your disciplinary methods with their parents and only discipline when you are in charge.
b. Do not overrule their parents unless abuse is taking place.
c. Do not change their parents’ rules. Keep the same bedtimes and their home and yours. Do not feed them candy and ice cream if they don’t get it at their home.
d. Do not correct their parents in front of them.
5. Don’t baby-sit if it means enabling sin.
6. Be what you want them to be.
a. Don’t do what you don’t want them to.
b. Let them see the power of the Holy Spirit in your life. Don’t just talk about spiritual victory – show them.
c. Guide their marriage choices by modeling a wholesome marriage.
d. Be consistent. Follow through on what you say – whether in matters of discipline or in showing up for play dates.
7. Believe in and hope for what they could be.
a. Look for good things in them but be honest about the bad things.
b. Don’t put too much pressure on them to excel. They’re not trophies to display.
8. Play with them. It’s good for you. It keeps you from stiffening up both physically and emotionally.
9. If their parents divorce – unless there is clear abuse – do not take sides. Try to teach your grandchild to still honor and respect his parents.

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