Advice to Parents of Wayward Children, 7 of 9

“…Because this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found!' So they began to celebrate. - Luke 15:24 HCSB

The wise father knew that it was sinful, self-centered pride that led his son to ask for his inheritance early. He could have taken offense at being told in essence, “Dad, I can’t wait for you to die. Give me my inheritance now.” Yet he chose to consider his son lost. No one gets lost on purpose. Everyone thinks they are going the right way. It is only once we start getting signals that it slowly dawns on us how far off track we are.

When you talk to your children about their behavior ascribe, when possible, good motives to their behavior. Though they mean well, they are choosing badly. Paul used this technique in Athens. He said, “I see that you are so religious that you even have an altar to an unknown god. May I introduce Him to you?”[1] Whatever culture they are into, try to find some way to use that culture’s concepts as an introduction to biblical culture. In the apostle’s parlance, become a Jew to the Jews, law abiding to the law abiding, weak to the weak, becoming all things to all men (yet without sin) so that you can save them.[2]

When discussing behavior talk about behavior in general, not their behavior in particular, this way they can be objective and not feel the need to protect their position. Try to think like they do – enter into their minds and argue your position using their language. Try to make appeals that actually appeal to them. Don’t use arguments that only appeal to you. For instance, in debating Christ with Mormons, I use the Book of Mormon or Pearl of Great Price too. I show that I’m willing to consider their point of view, but then reveal the weaknesses of their foundation. In trying to influence a materialistic person, I try to demonstrate how the Bible’s financial principles, if followed, can successfully lead a person to wealth. If talking to a weak, fearful person, I lead them to verses that show how God is our fortress.

Be prepared for argument.[3] They will question every point you make; remember, they don't have the years of experience you have accumulated to find this wisdom, what you know may not match what they have learned.

Don’t be shocked and disappointed when it happens. You are dealing with humanity’s inherent sinful nature. It’s like being surprised when a dog barks or a frog jumps. It’s natural. It’s not necessarily pleasant but it is the nature of an unregenerate or rebellious person. Your job, like Ezekiel’s is not to fix them or change them. Your job is simply to tell them the truth. This takes a great deal of strength of character. It takes a lot of stubbornness (or, stated more positively, patience). Ezekiel had to have a hard head to deal with his generation. Be stronger than the rebellious child. Be more stubborn than they are. You are, after all, standing on the moral high ground. That in itself should grant you great moral strength.

[1] Acts 17:22-23
[2] 1 Corinthians 9:19-22
[3] Ezekiel 3:4-9