A patient person [shows] great understanding, but a quick-tempered one promotes foolishness. – Proverbs 14:29 HCSBOne of the greatest gifts we can give is an honest answer.
[1] Though it may take a while to be truly appreciated, any wise person will value honesty over flattery.
[2] Being dishonest with our spouse is as harmful as physical abuse
[3] and in the end, will only cause trouble.
[4] El Emet
[5] expects and deserves truthful followers
[6], so we need to strive for honesty and openness with each other
[7], especially about our motives.
[8] However, honesty must be balanced with grace.
[9] It is tempting to launch into a tirade listing all the other person’s faults when we are angered. Yet, we need to resist this urge, if for no other reason than the shame of being quick-tempered.
[10] We need to keep in mind that every time we demonstrate patience under pressure, we build not only our character,
[11] but our esteem in the other person’s eyes.
[12]The natural human tendency is to fight fire with fire, but Spirit-empowered Christians know that the only way to quench the flames of strife is through gentle patience.
[13] It’s a lot easier to nip the argument in the bud than to stop it once it gains momentum.
[14]The conversation of Christian spouses should be characterized by sacrificial love
[15] and a quiet spirit
[16] that borders on reticence to speak.
[17] If our spouses lose their tempers, we should walk away until they can calm down.
[18]We are allowed to be angered by sin
[19] or frustrated by miscommunication, but we must never allow our emotions to drive us into sin
[20] or base, corrupt speech.
[21] After all, there will some day be an accounting for every word that comes out of our mouth.
[22] We should never allow a mocking spirit to cause us to belittle our spouse
[23] and it goes without saying that gossiping about our marital troubles will only make things worse!
[24]Instead, we should practice active listening,
[25] motivated by a humble spirit that is constantly asking, “Lord, have I done wrong?”
[26]Loving consideration for our spouse should be our priority,
[27] being careful about prejudging or jumping to conclusions,
[28] giving them the benefit of the doubt
[29] and resisting the impulse to bring up past wrongs.
[30] We should be concerned for our spouse and seek to discover what is causing their frustration.
[31]We must think carefully before speaking,
[32] taking long pauses for silent prayer if necessary;
[33] not only to avoid saying something stupid
[34] but in order to say the most helpful, healing thing possible.
[35] This habit can actually bring a lot of personal satisfaction.
[36]Finally, we should be trying to live blameless lives that do not cause irritation
[37] but instead are a source of strength and refreshment to our spouse.
[38] We should not merely promise change but actually come through with action.
[39]I know this advice is impossible for a mere human to follow
[40] – but with God’s power anything is possible.
[41][1] Proverbs 24:26; 1 Corinthians 13:6
[2] Proverbs 12:19; 28:23
[3] Proverbs 25:18
[4] Proverbs 11:1; 12:13-14; 20:17; 21:6
[5] Psalm 31:5
[6] Psalm 51:6; Proverbs 20:23
[7] 2 Corinthians 8:21; 1 Thessalonians 2:3
[8] Proverbs 10:6, 11, 18-20; 26:24-26
[9] Proverbs 10:13, 31-32; 12:6; John 1:14; Colossians 4:6
[10] Proverbs 12:16; 14:29; 19:11; 19:19; 20:3; 29:11
[11] James 1:2-4
[12] Proverbs 17:28; 19:11; 20:3
[13] Proverbs 13:3; 15:1, 18; 16:32; 25:15
[14] Proverbs 17:14
[15] 1 Corinthians 13:4-5; Ephesians 5:25; 1 Peter 3:7
[16] Proverbs 29:11
[17] Proverbs 17:27; 18:21; 21:23; Ecclesiastes 5:2
[18] Proverbs 22:24-25
[19] 1 Kings 11:9; 2 Kings 17:18; Psalm 7:11; Proverbs 31:8-9; Mark 3:5
[20] 1 Corinthians 13:5; Ephesians 4:26; 5:8-11
[21] Proverbs 4:24; 7:13; 11:9; Ephesians 4:29; 5:4; Colossians 3:8; 4:6
[22] Matthew 12:34
[23] Proverbs 11:12; 12:18; 15:4
[24] Proverbs 11:13; 16:28; 17:9; 20:19; 25:23
[25] 1 Samuel 25:17; Proverbs 18:2; 21:28; Ecclesiastes 5:1-2; James 1:19
[26] Psalm 139:24
[27] Proverbs 21:3; John 15:12
[28] Proverbs 14:15; Matthew 7:1-5
[29] 1 Corinthians 13:7
[30] Proverbs 16:27; Matthew 18:21-22; 1 Corinthians 13:5
[31] Proverbs 12:25
[32] Proverbs 15:28; 29:20
[33] Proverbs 12:13; 16:1
[34] Proverbs 14:3
[35] Proverbs 16:23-24; 18:4, 20; 22:17-18
[36] Proverbs 12:14; 13:2; 15:23; 25:11
[37] Proverbs 12:14
[38] Proverbs 31:12, 28-29
[39] Proverbs 14:23
[40] John 15:4-5
[41] Matthew 19:26; Luke 18:27